Something many do not know about me, before I was a wedding photographer; I was a photographer, an artist. I didn’t photograph moments, I didn’t photograph love. To be honest, I photographed my battle with teenage angst and depression. It’s not often that I can find time to shoot for me during wedding season. I made a pact with myself this year that I would find the time but with 41 weddings and double that in portrait sessions and other semi-related shoots and now opening a studio this winter (ball dropped! Heyyy!) I have barely found the time to touch my large format camera or touch on my learning of the collodion process this year (let’s hope the chemicals I invested in can hold out till the winter!) Hell, I just bought an entire darkroom hoping it would inspire me to shoot my personal work again. …It just made my spare room even more cluttered. Anyways…
What brought me to wedding photography, I’ll never fully know. What might have been being able to afford to pay the bills grew to a love.
I’m an artist. When you hire me as your wedding photographer you are getting someone who is so passionate about photography it screams through in my work. You get someone who has held a camera since she was 8 years old, tackled the education side to photography and creates from the heart. I don’t create because that’s how I was taught to. I create because I feel the emotion, the love, the chemistry.
I’ll be shooting something for me again, something that tells the struggles of being a full time wedding photographer, struggles of not paying the bills, feeling alone while everyone is getting married and here I am eating all the cake. The haunting feeling I get. My work not being good enough. Depression, The real struggle most don’t tell you. I’m going to try to photograph all my work (wedding included) the way I see it. I feel shooting for me is where I am strongest, it’s where I strive and it’s where I’m really happy. This one little shoot refueled my soul. My first love is still in there so with this project I’m just going to be real.
recently on the journal
Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.